by on JUNE 7, 2010
There are many ways we may look for approval. I have struggled with this off and on most of my life.
I know many women that struggle with this. This doesn’t mean that the habit of seeking approval from others can’t be easily broken. Come on ladies… how does it feel when you want to do something, and even though you discussed your plans with your significant other, when the day arrives they suddenly seem moody and put out. If you feel frustrated, indecisive or worried about how they feel, its time to ask yourself some questions.
When you’re getting ready, do you think more about what he’s feeling rather than the way you’ll wear your hair?
Do you feel the need to make everything perfect before you leave to earn your personal time?
Are you just plain hovering, waiting for them to give you the go-ahead before you feel comfortable walking out the door?
If so, you may have started this by projecting your fears and expectations on him.
When I did this, it would irritate Ed and he’d immediately become moody. I was standing around waiting for Ed to say “Yeah honey! go have fun. I’m so glad your going for drinks with the girls. I don’t want to see you home until after last call .” I’ll be waiting until I’m 90 before I hear that. My behavior was getting me the opposite response. At the least, I was giving him time to worry about me and my safety, most of the time I was acting insecure. This triggered the pretty common response of ” You’re going there? The music sucks there.” Or the one I hear from my friends with kids “When are you getting home? I’ve got things I need to do” (and this was the first you heard of it). The most common though, is just straight up moodiness.
Yes, you are worthy and you deserve to have time to yourself. Plus, it is so much easier to have patience and be able to care for those around us if you do. There is nothing sexier than confidence. Own your worthiness ladies.
I bet you 9 out of 10 times if you confidently share your plans with your loved one, give them a big kiss (with more to come later), a shining smile and walk out the door without worrying about what they’re gonna do while your gone. I swear they can smell worry or indecision like a dog smells fear. Not only will you have a much better time but they will too.
Now the next thing I have to work on is not pouting when Ed wants to do the same and I’m at home waiting for him. There is a need for equal treatment, one step at a time right?
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